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Lucid Dream [entries|friends|calendar] Erika NAVIGATION: Who is i? Monkey Kidneys. Incalcucable. Workspace. Mungbean sprouting. Tickets to the gun show. Afghanis with aids: Erika is a thirteen year old that loves to kick her nemesis' ass. She is currently studying at the University of the Philippines Rural High School and is currently with honors. Current obsession=Steven John Carello. She squees much too often when you talk about Religion, Politics, DeVotchKa, The Office,The Michellin Man, and some other stuff. She doesnt have much space in this sidebar so better you click the links above. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // [Sunday, August 2008//12:24PM]

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Korea korea shmorea diarrhea [Saturday, July 2008//11:01PM] I'm in Korea. Ewha Woman's University, Seoul. It's for the International Science and Engineering camp.  Woo.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Life is beautiful [Wednesday, June 2008//05:58PM] [ music | Copeland:EveryBreathYouTake ] Life is beautiful, isn't it? No matter how "reality" hits hard, no matter how corrupt and dirty people can get, no matter how badly we can die. We have to admit, those precious seconds of real bliss... Those are the things we live for. And maybe die for. Ewan ko. These past few weeks... I'm relatively happy. Actually, no. I AM happy. And it's just so bad that I can't write about it. See, life is beautiful. Someday, you'd find someone that'll make you understand that. When everyday you wish it were Saturday, and you'd get to spend time together. Life is beautiful when you share it with someone. I found life really beautiful even before this... this -thing- that I'm having now. But when you have someone to spend it with... It's like all the glimmer in the world blind your eyes. And you can not. You just CAN NOT escape from it. You're blinded. And all you see is the perfection of everything. Amid the sickness and the death and the poverty around you... Life is beautiful. Life is beautiful. Guten Abend is playing, and I remember my childhood. For Christmas, I got this dome, that had animal shapes printed around it. And when I turned the knob, a light shines through those shapes... And they make the most wondrous scene around your room. While the knob turns, Guten Abend, Gut' Nacht plays.... I don't know. It was so magical. The light, the illumination of the whole room. It just makes me happy. Life is beautiful. Ewan ko. I just wanted to write this. Because, I dunno. I'm satisfied. I have nothing else to ask for. Except maybe that I did well during my SATs last Saturday... But aside from that, nothing else. I'm completely complacent. I love this. I'm in love with life. And most people are. Most find it beautiful. Though there are a handful that haven't just realized the majesty of living, rather, they are angered. But take a step back, and just see. Breathe in everything. It's just so happy... Ewan ko! Basta. Ang saya ko. I just felt the happyness yesterday. Nagpagupit ako yesterday, may bangs na ko ngayon. And I personally think it looks like crap. But I don't care. I'm happy. And it'll grow back. After the cut, me and my mom got on the car. Then there was this old lady that knocked on mom's window and talked to mom. Turns out, she was a breast cancer survivor. And well, my father's employee's wife has cancer. And she's in her terminal days... And, well, my mom just visited her last Saturday. Allegedly, she was still smiling and still had the vibrance of all life in her. And this old lady that knocked on our window, and told my mom that the wife was dying. Just like that. Saturday. What is it now? Wednesday? Wednesday. All the life out of somebody. Just taken out by three days... And that was quite slow already. Since life can be extinguished by just one tiny gust. And that's it. Youre gone. The act of life is over. Curtain's closed. I've long realized this, you see. Long. But, I don't know. I forgot about it for a long time. And that knock on the window made me remember. I was quite bored with life for a time there. Until then. So, when I got home, my mom asked me if I wanted to jog with her. Wait. Now Copeland's rendition of Everybreath you take is playing. And it just drove me to tears... And so I type this with tears running down my cheeks. So when she asked, I said yes. But I didn't want to jog. I rollerblade-d. I put on my Christmas gift from 5 years ago, and I rollerbladed downhill. With my mom's hand in mine. The knee pads were a bit itchy, the elbow pads were running down since they were loose. And the helmet gave me a migraine. But the ride downhill, the vibration felt when the blades hit the synclines of the concrete, my mom's hand in mine. I felt happy. I missed my dad. I missed my sister. I missed my brother. It was so different since the last time I skated. So many things have changed. Life is beautiful. For every person, there's a different reason why. But, for every person, there is definitely a reason how life can be wonderful for her. And I love life. and I love him.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Still ringing in my head. [Monday, June 2008//02:23PM] [ music | SamConcepcion:KungFuPanda [nasa utak ko] ] EVERYBODY LOVES KUNG-FU FIGHTING! Taena. Taena ni Sam Concepcion. Isang beses sabay sabay sa ETC, ETC 2nd Avenue, Jack TV, pati ata sa kung saan pa. Baka sa Discovery Channel nga kapag gabi eh. WALANGYA. Nakakaasar na ha. Nung una nakakatawa pa eh. PERO NAKAKAASAR NA HA. ... Pero gusto ko manoood nung Kung Fu Panda. as in gusto ko manood nung Kung Fu Panda. O: Pero sana sa America ako makapanood. kasi, end credits sa Pilipinas, si Sam Concepcion parin ang patutugtugin. ... Dumudugo na tenga ko. Dumudugo na.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Ref the jolly fortune lobster who always wants to fight. well, that aint jolly ain it? [Sunday, June 2008//01:13PM] [ music | TheCure:ClosetoMe ] My name is RAIN. Oh. Wait. That was wrong. I mean. My name is RAIN. Wait. Wrong again. Okai. I'll get it right. My name is RAIN! <mumble> shit. </mumble> My.... name... IS... RAIN. Oh fuck this. My name is Ref. Yeah. Say it like you mean it, beets. I eat yo momma for breakfast. Yo momma's so fat. Yeah. Period. Yo momma's so fat. I'm too stupid to think what pun ending I can insult yo momma. But yo momma's bald. Yo MOMMA'S BALD, beets! You hear?! *Eka runs toward the table* Oh. Excuse me. Sorry. That was Ref. He be my fortune lobster. He's kinda violent and stuff. When I put his friend... *Ref pinches eka* wth. Ooooooouch. *Eka rubs the spot he pinched* Well, Mr. Ref here complained. I'm SOOOOORRY Mr. Ref. Erratum. He's not his FRIEND. Pardon. Okay okay. I'll end the play thing already. So yeah. I'm out to enjoy another species' life. For humans have rightfully and dutifully declared themselves as the king of all species. The  "protector" and "keeper" of Mother Earth and her little friends. Homo sapiens sapiens! : Those dudes on top of the pyramid who can catch stuff and keep them as pets. My mom gave it to me. Her patient, who was allergic to fur and stuff, couldnt have a dog as a pet. Nor a cat. Nor a baby cub. Nor a tiger. Nor a bear. Nor a pig. Nor a snake. Nor a piece of paper. Nor a hamster. Nor a bat. Nor a slug. Nor a fish. Sooooo, her mom got her a lobster instead. OH WHAT FUN! I was so excited when that patient gave my mom one of the many lobsters the patient's daughter had. [poor daughter I know how it means when your evil mother snatches your pet away to give it to your doctor's evil youngest daughter.... Oh wait. I don't know what it means. tough luck]. So yes, I have a lobster. I keep it in this large piece of container. I feed it 3 fish pellets a day. And I give it a little malunggay leaf every sunday as a treat. Nooooow. You may wonder what they can do! What  can lobsters doooo! Oh the most wondrous of things actually! They can do somersaults, they can swim like 30 mph. They can camouflage. They can catch flies for you. They can wash your clothes. They can even cook themselves for dinner [that's the ultimate sacrifice tho. You have to get their friendship points to a hundred if you want them to do that.] They can absolutely do EVERYTHING. Except, they dont.  Instead, the lazy clumps of chitin just sit all day. They occasionally move backwards. Yes. They rarely walk/crawl forward. They always walk backwards. They have their claws always open. Oh oh oh. The most interesting thing they do is to blow spit bubbles. They blow spit bubblessss! How wonderful! But see, I don't care. I like Ref for just one thing. See. Ref can live in a... You guessed it! A REF! *applaud light turns on* Yeah. You can keep them in your Ref/cooler when you have to be gone for a long time. They can keep alive inside your cooler for about 2 weeks or so. And no, they won't raid the insides of your Ref. They shall just sit there. Blow spit bubbles. Maybe do somersaults while no one can see them. Ohhh. And I forgot another of their amazing features. Oh God! How can you be so unfair to create such perfect living things! They CATCH FORTUNE. Well, that's what the crazy pancit people tell us. Since they always have their claws open, they're like... Catching opportunities for you... Bull crap. Hahahahaha. So yeah. I have Ref. I feed it malunggay once a week. I love him. He does'nt love me. That's the tragedy.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // The result of reviews. [Friday, May 2008//06:43PM] [ music | Diana KRall:BesameMucho ] "Well, my yellows, don't you all look ravishing today?" said the reds. The reds were the ignorant ones. The smirk on their faces were perpetual. Reds were the kinds that would stain your hands when you hold on to them too much. Ignorant enough maybe to put a stain on you just by looking at them. They melt you when you touch them. And they're too full of themselves that they bleed into you. They leave a mark. And they always want to leave a mark. Even with the yellows. The yellows all giggle when the reds stared to hit on them. They giggled even when the reds just touch them. And they always touch. There inside they giggled and touched. The reds always wanting to leave a mark. The yellows trying to look shinier than usual for all of them. They wore a perpetual brand. As perpetual as the smirk on the Reds. And they ostracized those who hadnt any brand. The brands were what they were. The yellows, the reds, the blues. Yes, there were blues. The blues just sat still. Occassionally, they play saxophones and put eyeshades on. But that's just occasionally. The blues always just sat still. Always as the Reds had their smirks on. Always like the yellows giggled when the Reds touched them. Again the brands they worshiped. Again the brands they questioned. How were they made? Just as all good pseudo-philosopher should ask. But the reds always finished each "intellectual" conversation by shrugging off the question. Reds always had the answer to everything. They say: "We're put on belts. That's fucking how." And the yellows agreed and swooned. And the blues sat still. Everyday, they ask the same question. And everyday, they were answered by the foolish theories of the Reds. However, they couldn't care less. They weren't supposed to care about anything at all. They weren't supposed to be swooning over the hotness and cleverness of the reds. They werent even supposed to be talking. They were the brands they wore. They were the questions they asked. "How are we made?" Those that hadnt any brand were taken to the incinerator. Where that was, they didn't know. They didn't dare to ask. They were where they were. They were what they were. No matter how ignorant, how coquettish. They all had the same fate. And it concludes with the period at the end of the next sentence after the next. Before the yellows had any chance to flirt back, before the blues registered what was to happen next, I open the pack my mom gave me. And I put them all in my hand. The reds still so ignorant even before the very sight of death to bleed into my hand. The yellows for once in their lives said nothing. And the blues as usual stood still. After staring at them for moment while asking myself how they were made, I put them all in my  mouth. And I chew. Theyre put on conveyor belts then they're branded with vegetable dye. That's how theyre made.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Undeveloped photographs. [Sunday, May 2008//10:10PM] [ music | dont speak:nodoubt ] i'm this unshaken polaroid photo. shake me. someone. please. now. during the past three weeks or so, i've taken hundreds of photographs. from the molave yearender, to the heritage stay in manila,  the dusit hotel in makati, in fort ilocandia in ilocos, the residencia de tirol in boracay. and none of them have been chronicled here. during the past three weeks or so, i've seen so many stuff, thought of so many things, experienced probably the most stupefying night of my life, risked my bright sun shiny future for just 2 hours of talk, said goodbye to a most beloved friend, and won a DoTA game for the first time in months. and i'm not developed yet. i haven't absorbed, nor developed a picture of the importance of all the things that have hapenned to me. i'm walking past everything. i'm walking past everything. maybe not even walk. but jog. i'm jogging i'm running past some of the more memorable moments in my life. everything that hapenned is still a blur. i'm an unshaken undeveloped unappreciated polaroid photo. and i'm desperate to see how the photo looks like. Okai. There goes the rant part of the post. Here goes the drama. Poka. poka. poka. I hate to see you go. And i hate more is the fact that i won't see you go. We werent able to organize mang selson and the others para ihatid ka sa airport... poka. Mam-miss kita. and see. that's all that's coming out from me right now. it's not even in the vicinity of the intensity of the headlights that i see that are bound to hit me and roll over me. see. i'm undeveloped. someone please shake me. and someone did shake me. but only to make it worse. someone shook me so hard, my mind blurred. the optic nerves can not comprehend and translate certain images, certain situations, certain memories into those that can be discerned by the great grey matter of the brain. something so massive hapenned to me. something so surreal. something so lifechanging. something that only i should now. and no one else should. And it shook me. an easy intensity 9 in the richter scale. *sigh* see. the most stupid thing about it is this. i have so many emotions pent up inside of me, i have so many stuff to think about, i have so many applications to register, and yet. I'm blank. Like a polaroid photo, containing millions of colors, but instead, failed to develop. Thus, leaving the millions of vibrant colors covered by a deep dark irritating black useless meaningless film. i cant even write about it on my tangible journal. it's so freaking irritating.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // [Sunday, May 2008//10:05PM] "Mga tarantado kayong mga Pilipino kayo! Mmm! Lalamunin kayo ng tsunami!" - taxi driver namin papuntang Mall of Asia Ang astig nung cab driver na yon. Pinaka-astig siguro na cab driver sa buong Pilipinas. Pakiramdam ko kung kumuha siya ng UPCAT, papasa siya kahit wala siya nung kalahata ng UPG nia. Mas matalino pa siguro siya sakin. Seryoso. Hahahaha. Sumakay kami sa kaniya sa tapat ng hotel namin sa Maynila. Papunta kasi kaming Mall of Asia. Anlaki fufu ng Mall of Asia! Grabe. Pero sige. Mamaya na ung Mall of Asia escapades ko. Yung Cab driver muna. Astig siya. May katwiran siya. May laman ang utak nia at hindi kinain ng buwan ang grey matter nia. Marunong siya mag-isip. Nagcomplain siya tungkol sa parking-an ng Heritage [ung hotel namin]. Kasi parang etchas nga naman. Ang kitid kitid ng daanan, mag papa-double park pa ung mga ungas. O edi ndi makadaan si Mr. Cab Driver dun sa drive way. Dun. nag-complain siya dun. Ndi lang siya nag-complain. Sinabi nia kung papaano maaayos yun. Na dapat hindi magpadouble park. Or kung gusto nila mag double park, edi wag na lang sila magpapasok ng mga taxi at lamunin nalang ng shuttles nila pasahero nung hotel. O diba? Praktikal? Haha. Tapos, nakalabas na kami nung driveway nung hotel. Dun kami sa may roxas blvd dumaan papuntang Mall of Asia. Biglang may nag beeeeeep na malakas na nakaririndi sa likod nung taxi namin. May mamang pulis nakasakay sa motorsiklo sa likod namin. Tas tumunog na yung wawa. Ung eeeeeooooeeeeeooooeeeeoooo ng mga pulis. Tas nasa likod nung pulis ay isang fleet siguro ng mga bus na puno ata ng koreano. Ay. Speaking muna of Koreano. Alam nio ung Spa 88 just outside Los Banos? Ung road na yun? Bwaahahahha. Alam nio ba? Nangunguha ng Koreano ung daan na yon. Marami na daw nakuhang Koreano ung daan nayon. Nakuha as in pinatay. As in marami na daw nabanga at napisat na Koreano dun. That. Is. So. [insert adjective here]. Hahahah. Tapos, nagreklamo uli ung driver namin. "putangina mga koreanong yan. bat sila me escort? dapat prisidente at bise prisidente lang ang ineescort ng ganiyan! ay putang ina nilang lahat." Oo. Sinabi nia yon sa harap naming tatlo ni mami at ni ate. Hahah. And he went on rambling about the president of the Philippines. Tapos ung mga escort na yun. Na mabuti body guard lang daw ang sa Congressman at hindi escort. Kasi wala daw silang karapatan magpa-usod ng mga tao sa daan. At napaliwanag niya un ng mainam. Napapaniwala nia ako na dapat nga naman talaga walang nag papatabi sayo sa daan. At napasama narin ang mga patay sa aming usapan! "dapat talaga wala nang escort ang mga patay. Ano yon? pinapamadali nila masyado ung huling byahe eh! Para bang sinabi mo na: ¨mmm sige ilibing mo na yan! bilis! baka mamaho pa!'" Ahahaha. And boy did we laugh. XDDD So yeah. That was the smartest stupid dude i'd ever meet. :) During that stay in Heritage, I also met this billionaire. Seriously. A real walking breathing Filipino billionaire, who wanted to eat breakfast with us. We met him, well, my sister and her boyfriend met him first, when they were in the crappy pool. They kinda bumped into him when they were wiping snot in that disturbing-boyfriend-girlfriend-kind of way. And we met him. He's a lawyer. Batchmate nia si nalimutan ko na basta parang pinaka mataas sa DOJ. Tas yun. Actually this post is four weeks old. It was saved in my drafts. Now I shall post it. And it's kinda not finnished yet. But i have to start the new one. ^_^

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // I want you. I don't care. I want you. [Tuesday, April 2008//12:32PM] [ music | Bread: Baby I'm a Want You ] XD  :D  ö  :l This is how productive I've become. I'm listening to 90's musik. I'm listening to Savage Garden. I was listening to Spice Girls, and a while back I was listening to Backstreet. And next on my playlist is Westlife. Wth is wrong with me? Ate Pin was polishing the floor yesterday, and I was playing my Diana Krall-Madeleine Peyroux- Bill Evans playlist, and she was like: Eka why the hell are you listening to my grandmomma's musik? Hahaha! It was funny. Really, it was. About a month ago, I was extremely hyped up that MTV was back in the promdi's television sets. MTV! MTV that was lost in our airwaves for more than a year, when Myx was all you had, and you expected that they'd play Gloc 9 any time of the day. Not that there's anything wrong with Gloc 9. It's just not my type. ;)  And Myx, well, it had to suffice when I craved for the daily pop dosage of musikz. And it was only yesterday [since yesterday was the only time I really slept in late and only got up from bed at about 11:30, it was the only time I watched cable TV for more than an hour.] that I tried to watch MTV. And deymn. Was it depressing. You see, I long for the music that made girls happy. The kind that you could just lie down listening to it, maybe sing with your friends. The kind that you remember yourself riding in the car when you were just a kid, and it was playing on your family radio station. With lyrics that went like:   I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.  I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need. Then you proceed to ask your mom what "savage" means. When the sun was behind your car and you were driving down the highway. Maybe going to your sister's school in Manila. And you'd hear that song. And you were maybe just... 6 years old. I wasn't expecting that from MTV, see. XD I'm quite knowledgeable of the music that currently play in our airwaves. XDDD But I was expecting more of the... More of the music that I knew MTV played then. I didn't expect songs playing almost every three songs with lyrics that go like: She poppin she rollin she rollin She climbin that pole and I'm N Luv with a stripper She trippin she playin she playin I'm not goin nowhere girl I'm stayin I'm N Luv with a stripper And I just wanted to push Chris Brown and his psychedelic color changing shirt [no it's not cool and i think it would have been very inconvenient to bring with you your car's battery to power your color-changing shirt] off a cliff's edge. Srsly. He was like playing every 30 minutes or so. Or maybe just shoot Sean Kingston's fat ass just to put him out of his misery. I mean, I could hear him heaving through the song and I could feel the pain he went through just to move a freaking muscle. He must've eaten twenty chicken drumsticks after that scene with the girl dancing in front of him. He be not looking at j00, hoe! He be concentrating on breathing just to live for another second, hoe! He's 18-freaking years old! That'd equate to.... 40 more years of drugs, hoes, strokes, stds, thromboembolisms. If he gets to 58 that is. He's a space occupying lesion. He's a tumor. He's a walking malignant tumor. He's fat. He's ugly. He makes contagious beats... That takes over the world. But still. Someone really should put him out of his misery and save the world from future pain. She's having an epileptic attack. Quick! Save her! Ahahaha. So there. I watched MTV for a whole straight 30 minutes. And I kind of memorized the playlist. It would start off with Chris Brown, then Sean Kingston, then the liliputan lady who plays on the piano, and then back to Chris Brown and his color-changing shirt. Then maybe the out of tune new rivermaya dudes. Put in some of Fall Out Boy's pathetic attempt to look humanitarian with their pathetic video and their pathetic hats and their pathetic songs. Someone's grumpy today! XDDDDD Tell me when they've decided to stop spending all their money in drugs and booze and hoes [  that came from albumsales and social prostitution from the legions of squeeing fangirls  ] and give it all to Northern Uganda. Where I bet it would be of no use since it would'nt get to the targeted people anyway. Too much evil in the world! Too much evil in the world. Ah. Yeah. Someone is grumpy today. Add to that, the sound quality of MTV's vjs' voices. It's like someone draped a dirty panty over the boom mike and they didn't notice it so they're broadcasting a crappy vj's voice plus the dirty panty. They're constantly playing Charmie breathable pantyliners. The commercial showcases this gorgeous group of women in leotards passing around their pack of Charmie breathable pantyliners as if it were a communal notebook where people get all their answers from. It's not like we live in a community like that ladyyy! Where no one would react if I would scream at the drugstore lady to get me a pack of condoms. No one in the right mind would pass around their breathable pantyliners like that. Even if it costs for like... 2 for the price of one. No matter how good the bargain is, we just wouldn't, man! We wouldn't. Hahaha. And the Rivermaya people. Omfgsh. Stop milking the original Rivermaya cow, assholes! You make me scrunge up in pain when I hear their two new "vocalists". Youre desecrating the classic name. Give me a 214,  a Kisapmata, a Balisong, a Love to Share, a Basketball, a Bye-Bye Na. Maybe then I'd strike you off my hitlist. Rico Blanco, woe is you. Woe is you. I feel the pain, brother. I feel you. And their graphic arts. Oh gas. Whatever hapenned to frankenbunny and friends? SawBoy buck? And all those other cool graphic animations? It's like... It's so cheap-looking now. Specially the dog. Freakin dog. I want to feed it to Happy. Srsly. Freakin white dog. I hate that freakin dog. It's a crappy mascot for MTV. And that cloud that appears to tell you the name and album and the artist. That one's über crappy. I mean, it's like OVER the crappy meter. It's so cheap. MTV has failed me. GIve me back Jamie! Give me back Donita! Sarah! I would even put up with KC's rudeness and bluntness instead of these guys. Even Colby. Even gay Colby. -_- Ahhhh. Myx is better. Even if I have to face the dread of expecting Gloc 9 to pop out any moment. At least they have a more extensive library of musik. And they gots Jet Pangan. Jet Pangan rocks my socks. And they featured Bloc Party. [!] Bummer. My playlist ended. Okai. No i don't have the inspiration to write about MTV anymore. Write...? Or rant. You be the judge. XD

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Pare [Friday, March 2008//08:12PM] [ music | BillEvansTrio:PiecePeace ] Talamak ang knock knock jokes ngayon ah. Gawa ng Noli me Tangere at El Filibusterismo. Waw. Tagalog. I'm writing in Tagalog ulit. Yay. Okai. Anligaya. Pero. Ndi pala masyado maligaya. Ahahay. Andami kelangang gawin. Nakakabobo na sobra. As in nakakatusta ng brain cells. Tapos, super init pa. Pero mejo natutuwa rin ako na mainit na. Kasi, parang mejo super na-late ung summer ngayon. Like, a month late? Kasi parang last last month, malamig pa. At naka-jacket pa ako sa bahay. E mejo nakatatakot na. Kasi. Six degrees can change the world. D: Nakabobobo. Pano kapag, sa generation ko, sa lifetime ko, mage-end ang mundo? Ho me gas. Revelations. Darating ung mga chariots, ung mga orbs and stuff. Tapos. Ayon. Edi ansaya nga naman. Weee. Pero. Ang init talaga fufu. As in namamawis ako ngayon kahit may electric fan na nakatututok sakin. Ang init. Tapos, gabi na. Tapos tumahol si Happy. Tapos, may praktis kami ng Noli me Tangere bukas. Tapos anligaya. Kasi. Wala lang. Ahahaha. May mga ilaw ilaw effect kami. Sana gumana sa Molave. Ang selan naman kasi ni Ser Ardales fufu. As if naman 7:30 would make a difference sa normal uwi time ng isang studyante ng Rural diba? It's like, the normal time I get home is 8. Mainly either gawa ng school activities or gawa ng varsity. Ang tindi ni Ardales walangya. Masyadong protektib! Hahay. Kasi may gumagalang Mananabas. Tapos, may quitter na jeep. Si Jun Lozada [sa mga taong di kilala kung sino siya, ehem ikaw yon Allison, magbasa basa nga at magpakatino!XDDD] ay pumunta ng UPLB nung... Kelan ba yun? Tuesday. Tapos fufu. Napakaduya. Indi kami in-excuse ni Mama Gaffud. Sobrang gusto ko sana siya mapanood umiyak. At tsaka, habang buhay pa siya. Kasi nararamdaman ko na na ia-assassinate siya ng mga tao sa gobyerno. Tsk tsk. Walang pag-asa! Walang pag-asa! Walang pag-asa! Ndi na muling mababawi pa ang Pilipinas sa kapit ng mga buwaya. Hindi na tayo makababangon. Yay. Pessimists unite. Youth of the Nation unite. Wala nang pag-asa. Namatay na ang pag-asa. Ang mundo ay hindi makatarungan. Masyadong hindi makatarungan. Ano nga ba ang makatarungan? Ito na naman. Hindi ko rin alam eh. Hindi ako nabuhay sa mundo kung kailang malinaw pa ang ibig sabihin ng salitang ito. Katarungan. All's fair in love and war. Haha. Yeah right. Kaya wag niyo ako sisihin sa pagkawala ng pag-asa ng kabataan. Ndi kami namulat sa totoong ibig sabihin ng Pilipinas. Sa bagay. Kayo rin naman. Haha. Unless nabuhay tayo nung panahon ng mga Igorot. Un. Un ang neytib. Ahaha. Nakade-depress. Hope for the flowers. The flowers are broken. Lu li lu lu lu. Kailangan ko si Hadella. Si Hadella ang nagbibigay ilaw sa buhay ko. Ahaha. Kung ako half-glass empty lagi. Siya ung half-glass full. Idol ko rin yun. Aw. I miss Delle. At ang mga pare. Pare amishu. Mga pare amishu all. Hay. Ang walang kwenta ng post na to. Rant rant rant. Kanina nanonood kami ng re-enactment ng... Buhay ni Hesus. Ang dakilang propeta at si Hudas ang salbaheng kaibigan. "Judas, do you betray the son of God with a kiss?" Haha. Minsan pakiramdam ko ang taray taray ni Hesus. Ahaha. Not meaning to offend anybody. Pero ewan. Ang taray niya. Ayaw sagutin ng diretso ang mga tanong. Tapos, nung nakita siya nung babae na wala na siya dun sa sepulchre, sabi niya, "Noli me Tangere. Wag mo ako salingin!" Ang taray. Tapos pinaka mataray na incident para sa akin ay ung pupunta siya dun sa bahay ng dalawang magkapatid na babae. ung isa super naghanda. Ung isa parelax relax lang. Tapos, Ang p-nraise niya ay ung parelax relax lang. Fufu. Nakakaaawa ung naghanda ng super. Siya na nga nag buhos ng effort, siya pa yung nilait at napagsabihan ng masama. Bakit ganon? Effort comes unacknowledged is effort rendered futile. Nakalulungkot lang. Pero sabi ng nanay ko kasi daw "Hindi mo pa maintindihan." E ayaw naman niya i-explain. O ang hirap. Kay hirap intindihin ng tinuturo ng Messiah. Bakit nga pala ba naging bakasyon time ang Holy Week? Fufu. Nagugutom ako. Isang beses lang ako kumain mejo ngayong araw na to. O: Haha. Fasting and Abstinence. E ang sankatauhan ay namamasyal o kaya naman nagliligalig sa mga beach. ._.' Hahay. Wala na ako masabi. Naliligayahan ako tumitig dun sa blue na LED nung phone ko. Nakahuhumaling siya. O: Ewan ko. Kita niyo? Natusta neurons ko ng init ng panahon. Miss ko na magmahal. Gusto ko magmahal. Kasi, mas masarap na pakiramdam ang tustadong neurons gawa ng kilig kesa sa tustadong neurons gawa ng init. Kurne ung latter. Bliss ung former. Ewan. Onga pala. Dun sa soc stud nung Monday. Fufu. Wahahahahah. Ang gulo gulo. Parang buhok sa kilikili. Wala na ako sasabihin pa, sapagkat na-explain na rin naman. Pero, ito lang. Talagang mas matindi mag-mahal ang babae kesa sa lalake. Walang kwenta magmahal mga lalake. [Except for the few I know *ehem ehem anton ehem*] Langya naman. Katawan lang ang habol ng mga lalake [i am not basing this on experience just on claims and credible evidence]. Indi kami hipon! Pagkatapos kainin ang katawan, itatapon na. Fufu kayo. Mga fufu. May mas malaki at mas kongkreto akong evidence na mas matindi magmahal ang babae. Aside dun sa binasa na quote nina Mha-Ann, ito oh. Napakalupit. At si Shakespeare, ang isa sa mga pinakamahuhusay na makata na nabuhay, ay nagsasabi na nito. Ang mga makata, o mga poet [tama ba?XD] sa ingles, ay maaaring magtago ng kasinungalingan sa pamamagitan ng rhetorika. Maari nilang mapaganda ang isang napakapangit na bagay gamit ang mga makukulay na salita na makapaga-activate ng ating imahinasyon, emosyon, at balumbalunan. Pero, kapag pag-ibig na ang pinag-usapan, samu't sari na ang lumalabas sa bibig at pluma ng mga taong to. At ito na aking ilalagay dito, ay maaring ultimo ebidensya ng lahat ng claims na mas matindi mag-mahal ang babae. Sapagkat mismo, si Shakespeare na, ang naglahad ng katotohanan. At anung kaputahan yan. Sorry for the term. Pero fufu. Una sa lahat. Romeo's high libido is showing [thus the hipon part], and, how there he compare a woman to the sun? The sun whose brightness burns the eyes and whose heat scorches the skin. It is insult. Romeo, you prick. Next, I would not want to have stars for my eyes. And, such a comparison may be jovial at first. But, I think it's too materialistic. Too physical. If that was his basis for falling for Juliet, then I pity Juliet. For she died for such a shallow reciprocal. Ay grarr. I can not begin to discuss this piece of poetry. Shakespeare was the master. He hath captured the essence of a man's love. Only up to that. And up to that only. Look here at Juliet's. I love it when calls me by my name. I don't know why. But I get all squishy inside if someone starts a sentence with my name. Or adresses me by my name. Ahaha. Alam ko oo mababaw. Pero it just makes it so much more personal. So, points for that. To cry for someone's name out loud. Is a public announcement of intent. XDDDD You see. Up to the second line, we ask for your sacrifice. And then up to the third line, as usual, you can not. So,kami angmagbibitaw. Kami ang magc-compromise. Kami ang mags-sacrifice. Kami ang magbibigay. Kasi hindi niyo magawa. Be but sworn my love. And I'll no longer be a Capulet. Ay ewan. The whole monologue is just so beautiful. So selfless. So much love and passion in a play of words. I specially love the rose line. You see, what is in a name? I've asked it millions of times before. And I agree. That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet. So You would. Were you not you called, retain that dear perfection. Ah perfection. Perfection. The ultimate state of being. To see someone as perfect. It's blindness. Haha. Basta. Ewan. Wala. I still hold it true, and I stand by it. Girl love more. Boy love less.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // I'll stop the world and melt with you. [Tuesday, March 2008//07:37PM] [ music | COffee:Copeland ] I mean it. I wish I can stop the world. There's nothing I won't do. Specially all the stuff I need to do e.g. Requirements and all. The year is about to end. The school year, that is. And still, so many stuff are hapenning. Maybe that's it. It's ending with the final finalest blow of all the blows a student can take. Mmm. So much stuff have hapenned lately. Not really to me that is, but to the community. First things first. ZTE! Aahahha. If I say "Fuck Gloria" here, would I get arrested? Ahahhaa. Maybe. So I won't say "Fuck Gloria." Okai. Anyhoo. Wtf. I was told, that four generations from me, that means, my children's child's child's child would still be paying the effing deal gloria did. For just that one deal. I don't know. Grar. I mean, I can't say Oust Gloria, without being faced the grandest question of all. That is, who would you replace her with? Noli? HAH. Oh gas. My nostril would fare better as a president than that gorilla.  Wahahha. "I am prepared, not preparing" shit statement of the year. Demes. Oh gas. I'd rather have Gloria. I mean, lesser evil? But then... Why do we have to choose between two evils? Are there no other better options? Rather, are there no OTHER options? Why must it be two evils? Ah gas. I dun know. I've talked about this issue so much that I don't know what to write here anymore. Meh. ZTE deal or nothing. The philippines is DOOMED. Unless we do a genocide of all the governing bodies here. As in... Eradicate all. Re-organize, revamp the whole system. Shoot them in the heads one by one. That'd be fun. *Le sigh* But at least, right? The country is alarmed. And yet, there was this femminist group I saw in the news the other day. Homegas. They were pro-gloria. And she stated "gloria is a woman that is not easily lured/succumbed to evil. She is a woman of principle". I have this: LADY, ARE YOU EFFING BLIND?! Ahahaha. Howell. At least, the people up there are full and not hungry and all. Replace them with another set of bastards, and you'd get a worse party. Yeah. At least them up stairs aren't that hungry for power and money that much. I mean, replace them with a new set of dogs, them new dogs would thirst for power, having only touched the throne for the first time. They'd be more reckless and all. So I don't know what to do anymore. Unless my dad would become president, I'd have two proposals. 1. Kill them bastards. 2. Kill them bastards. Yay. See, you have a choice.  ^^ Mmmm. Aside from the ZTE scandal, let's go local. More local than the nationwide thing. There's this typhoid outbreak in Calamba. Me mom's a doctor and all, and she has been complaining of the overflow of patients from Calamba to the hospitals here in Laguna. So, people, kids... How do we get typhoid? Basically... We ate shit. ^-^ See, the only way to transfer it is fecal-oral. You eaty the poopy, you get typhy. Ahaha. Yay. There was this rumor, that a dead body had been found under the Calamba Water District thing. As in, the dead body was floating around the water reservoir or something like that. And we were all making a big thing out of it. It was the center of conversation for about a week? Until now. You see, there's this new issue. At least the typhoid thing now has lightened a bit, and the people are thankfully getting better, there's this other thing. You see... There's this group of people who slice kids' stomachs and get their organs and then leave money inside your kids' tummies with a letter: "thanks for your kid." How twisted is THAT?! F. I am now officially afraid to walk out in the streets. But, that band of guys who do that monstrous thing... They must be well-educated. I mean, they even must hold medical standing or whatever you call that. For, you can't just simply slash off someone's intestine then sell them to the hospitals and all. You have to know where to slice, where to cut, to get a real healthy, plump organ. A usable organ that is. So yeah. Freaky hell. They're like psychopaths and all. In Most Evil, they must be in the scale of 22. That's the evilest. Mmmm. What more? Dunno. We have an upcoming softball game against south hill this saturday. Anddddd, the Noli Play. Ho megas. I need a miracle to work that out. I have so many other things to say, but nothing's manifesting. My hands have its own brain. I'm not thinking. I feel dumb. Dumb dumb. Spongecar? FWEE FWEE! -dedz-

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Do I still have it? [Sunday, February 2008//05:46PM] [ music | Enya:OnlyTime[fufubatitoangnagp-play.GUILTYPLEASURE!XD] ] [excuse the means of taking the picture. There was no other way than to stand in front of the mirror. XD Wait. Wtf am I making excuses? omfgsh. poserrrrrrr. xD </kick me>]   Dances are corny. Dances are boring. They have no more thrill. Dances then were major sources of heartache and bliss [which I never thought could go together in one sentence]. Dances now are just flashing lights, cheesy songs, and the opportunity to watch your friends cry. Dances suck. Except if they're already playing the fast musikz. Which, wasn't that good either. You get tired pretty easily after jumping around and hitting other people and falling down and screaming and looking at other people jumping around hitting you and making you fall down and screaming with. Dances are okay. But dances were once awaited for. Something to look forward to. And the dance last night just wasn't as good as those from last time's. No more waiting. No more heartache. No more thrill. Just like the prom. Demes. My life is SOOOO much more boring without the heartache. Haha. XD But then, I should be happy, ne? XD Last year's barn dance. Hah. That was when almost half of my friends, including me, were crying our eyes out. And that was when we laid on the grass. And watched the stars. And last night, again almost half of my friends were crying. Not including me though. And I sat on an empty armchair, and again looked at the night sky. It was the same picture. The same set of stars. The same sky. The same moon. The same school. The same grass. The same gym. The same event. The same people [mga pare plus poka though. Poka's a fix-in. XD]. Yet. Very different. A very different crowd. A very different and transformed set of people. A very different picture. Yet everything in it, every factor, was just the same. Ah. Metamorphosis. Hmmm. Prom? Prom was okay. Prom was fine. No. Actually, prom was super! :) The promenade made all the sleepless nights of work okay. It was super. It was super. ^___^;; It was actually more than I expected. Except for Pem. Pem ruins almost everything. I say almost, because I give him room for improvement. But during his normal days, he pretty much makes a mess of lots of stuff. Making a mess, take note, is an understatement. XDDD Okay now I'm being mean. Must. stop. Oh wait! I won ze elections. I got 107 votes. Noni, my vice-president, got 108. I was a bit sad that he won by 1 vote. And then I remembered, I didn't vote for myself. Bwahahaha. Funny. XD Oh. So yeah. We won only because we had no rival party. Yeah. Corny elections too. Demn. Corn abides these days. Oh wait. There's this one Freshman. Her name's Bianca? Yeah. Bianca I think. And she unbelievably lost in the two positions she ran for. Roasted. That must have hurt. D: She didn't get the 60% cutoff even if there wasn't any other party and there wasn't any other person who ran for that position. Ouch. Mm. I wish I video-d the algorithm dance we did for the meeting de avans/ce. XDDD Hmmm. What else what elseeeee... INTEL! Damnnn. Intel nationals! I gotz to the Intel Nationals, remember? Since I won first place during the regionals. So yeah. I gotz to the Nationals. And it was held in Tagaytay. I met lots of people. And bonded with sir Abel. Hi, Sir Abel! XDDD I met people from Caraga, from Region [insert number here], from ARMM, and from some weird place here in the Philippines. I didn't win. It was sad. Since I expected. I expect a lot. I'm an arrogant prick that thinks I can do everything. You see, that will be the cause of my future downfall. And it won't be very long before it. I'm overconfident. I'm too much of it. I'm full of myself. I thought I'd win. I thought I'd pwn everybody else. And I didn't. I was thrashed. I got into the Science Congress. And that only made me more hopeful. And yet, that blow when the Calapa Calapa cute gay guy won, it was just too much. PLUS, Pare and all my other friends and sir baclor's texts, well... It made me explode. I cried. Since I expected. Damn. Dreaming too high and achieving inches away from your 1000 points is a bummer. And I'm sorry for everybody. I let everybody down. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Again. Sorry. This made me fall from grace. Though I am afraid that I would hope too low, and achieve it, and settle for mediocrity. I'd hate myself if I resort to that level of satisfaction. INTEL made me meet other great people by the way. One's Khezia, the other's Tawny, then Dhanicca, then Roden. A shout out to them guys. I enjoyed the three-day event mainly because of them. ^__^ Okayyy... What's after intel. Hmm. The Battle of the Bads~! OMFGSH. I never thought it would be possible. I mean, we DID have the band. And yet, I lacked the skillz. You see, the idea of having a band came first before learning how to play an instrument. Now that's dreaming HARD! XD And yet we made it happen. Thanks to kuya. Kuya! You is rocks!!!! We practiced for like... 3 nights and 2 half days. We got Zombie and Ironic, and we had the chance to play in the Battle of the Bands. And we got lotz of votes. And maybe this is the time to thank all that I should thank. Though I'm quite sure my journal has died in the hearts and minds of people, this is the best that I could do since the time we were given was not enought to express our deepest gratitudes to the people who made it happen. First, KUYA! YOU IS ROCKZZ! SALAMAS SA LAHAT! Ahahaha. Oo sige. T-testing ko mag camp. Testing lang. XDDD Iglesia tatay ko ehhh. Most probably di ako papayagan. Sorry. Pero salamat talaga. Mal! Omfgsh. Mahal na kita. Pa-hug! Ahahaha. Salamat sa bass. Salamat sa amp. Salamat sa suporta salamat sa panonood habang nagp-practice kami. Salamat sa concern. Mikail! Salamat at hindi mo kami binuwag! Ahaha. :3 Salamat sa malupit na fender na amp! At dun sa jack. Haha. Joshua! Salamat! Salamat! :) Kina Vel, Nerio, at Rollison. Wahahaha. Wala lang. Nakita namin kayo nung isang gabi after ng practice namin. Salamat sa suporta. Kay Calayag! BWAHAHAH. Ang galing mo magtago! Da best ka! Sobrang natatae na kami nung naririnig namin boses ni Ma'am Uri. Salamat ulit at hindi ka nanlaglag. XD Sa TP! OMFGHS. MAHAL KO KAYOOOOOOOOOOOO! >:D< Ay tae. Kay GELO! Muntik pa kitang malimutan. Sobrang sorry. Sorry sa lahat gelo. Nagkamali kami ng iniisip. Sorry sorry. Sorry. As in sorry. Indi tayo nagkakaintindihan. Pero salamat. Salamat sa suporta at sa pagtitiwala nio sa amin. Salamat talaga. Salamat! Tae salamat sayo! XDDD Kay Sir Lee! Whahaa. Kasi makulit siya at ayos lang sa kanya na gawin naming studyo ang com lab. Kay Ser Baclor! Kung wala po ung Baclor permit di kami makapagp-practice. Sa DY family! Salamat po sa suporta, sa pagkain, sa LPG, sa kuryente, sa napakalupit nio pong studyo sa bahay. Salamat po talaga. Kay Ate Kate [na kasapi ng dy family. XD]. Salamat sa mga gimik gimik ate! Ahahaha. ^___^ Yun! Yun na ata yun. Ay tae. Nalimot ko pa. BATCHMATES! FUFU KAYO. WAHAHAHA. MAHAL NA MAHAL KO BATCH KO. AYLABSHUUUUU! Ipagpaumanhin nio at nasayang ang boto nio. Ndi kami nanalo. Sorry talaga. Sorry. :< At sa Diyos. Haha. Salamat po, Panginoon. ^_^ So. So much for the Battle of the Bands. What else is there to say? Valentine's? I spent it at Tagaytay. XD It was complete. Srsly. What more what more... I don't want to write about Poka's eulogy yet. XDDD I'd save it for May. ^^; Basta. Yun na. Salamat talaga sa buhay. p.s. expect pic spams. I have acquired a pretty decent phone with a pretty decent 3.2 megapixel camera. XD

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // [Saturday, February 2008//12:41PM] During the past weeks: . prom . intel nationals . battle of the bands crank that soulja boy now watch me yuouuzzuuuu! :)) Omfgsh. I needs to update. But I has been doing so much stuff lately. Maybe next week... Next week I has a quiz contest. So yeah. Maybe after that.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Summer Itinirary: [Saturday, January 2008//11:42AM] [ music | ScoutingForGirls:ElvisAin'tDead ] "Mga pare kung magrororo tayo, ganito mangyayari. pupunta tayong Cubao tapos alis tayo dun ng 11pm makakarating tayo 1am sa Batangas tapos alis tayo dun ng 2am. Magbabarko na tayo papuntang Calapan mga 4 am andun na tayo. 5am alis tayong Calapan papuntang Roxas. Darating tayo ng Roxas ng mga 7:30 tapos alis tayo 8:30 papuntang Katiklan. 1pm Katiklan na tayo. Tapos, Boat na papuntang Bora."  - delle HOMEGAS. I can't freaking wait. I just can't. I mean, it sounded impossible when we were talking about it las week over coffee. But then, when all the parents started saying "yes, you may go my little-un.", now it seems so close and tangible. Hahay. It feels like a teen movie. Where a group of high school students go to a beach and stuff. And then they have fun. And then something happens. And then they all start disappearing. And then there's no escape. And then they all die. Hopefully, though. We just get to the they have fun part. XDDD Hahay. Homegas. I srsly can't wait. And then Poka told us we'd go to an excursion and hike and stuff. And then we'd go to the market to buy our own produce and meat and stuff. And then we'd go in the banana boat. And then we'd go Island hopping. And then we'd go and spend the afternoons playing UNO. And then we'd do magik sing the night away. I can't stop imagining how it would go. I can't stop hoping for the day to come. I can't stop not thinking of it. o_o It's making my head hurt! Hahaha. Poka told me we should've planned it later. So the excitement wouldn't be this unbearable. I say no. I say the excitement makes eberything soooo much better. It's like you thirst for something, and when you do finally get what you long for, and when you've waited for soooo long just to get it... It's like taking victory off the shelves. It's like getting that Oscar you worked so hard for. It's like getting the very first slice of cake when you've been waiting for dessert all night long. It's like that. THat's how sweet it is. And Thank God he created excitement. Having something to look forward to makes life worthwhile. Thank God, there's Friday. :) Last Friday was one of the best Friday's I've ever had. Such a shame Hiyas wasn't there. Gas I miss Hiyas. I miss her so much. It's like when Joice was doing her cocc. Only harder since... I don^t know. I miss the eardrum-exploding-"baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabes!" she does when she sees me. And it makes me weak to see her running around the school and looking so tired. Gah. I want to sneak her food and all and water and clean stuff. I want to talk to her again. Homegas. And that was just 3 days ago. So... So much for that. The Friday! Start of the morning was already lungwrenchingly-hurtful. Okay. So I did tell you my shoes were all gone, right? That I had none left. That all of them are already worn and unwearable. So, I got my 4-year old shoes that I never ever wore. Since I forgot them in my cousin's place when we went to America, and since they came back last December, they brought it home. So, it was an airwalk shoe. And I must say that it was worse than a torture box. It was worse than those you see in Ripley's believe it or not! relics where you put people in it and torture them. It's worse than lighting your hair on fire. It's worse than lighting a fart on fire! Omegas. It's worse than having a boil in yer nose. Gademes it hurt. Wearing those shoes hurt. They were one size smaller than my real foot size. And I felt like I was binding my foot. And yet, since I had no choice, and since beggars can't be choosers, I had to wear it. See how deprived of material things I am? XD So yes. So I wore my gray shorts, my black polo shirt, a fleece jacket, and those damned shoes. And I went to school. When I got to my room, my feet were already complaining. Maybe even swollen. Demes did it hurt. XDDDDD So yeah. And then, we got to Geom. And I finally told my complaints to Delle. Delle, she was wearing pants. And she was wearing sandals. She proposed to let me borrow her sandals and she'd have the shoes. Poka, she was wearing brown shorts, her oversized chucks, and her shirt. She was feeling cold. Delle was ALSO feeling cold in the feet since she only had sandals on. Poka, she was feeling cold since she only had shorts on. And well, if my fudging feet could talk, minumura na ako nun. Sooooo, we decided to "fill in our needs" as Poka said. So, we went to the girl's bathroom, and we got in adjacent cubicles. And we exchanged clothes. OMEGAS WAS IT FUNNY. We looked SOOOOOOOOO mismatched. I looked SOOOOOOOOO girly and wrong, Haydelle's gray shorts would have fallen to the ground if she didn't had her colorful belt on, and Poka's jeans couldn't fit. And yet, we went with it. Omegas was it funny. We were laughing our asses off in the comfort room. And poka. Omegas. I can not tell how funny Poka looked like in the jeans. Omegas. I'm still laughing like right now because of it. So. That was just the first 3 hours of the day. During the afternoon, Pare and the others were waiting for the food tasting thing. So we sat in the covered walk, and waited. and waited. and waited. and waited. And we found out it wouldn't happen at all. So, we got out of the fortress that is Rural, and headed for eLBi. And we saw Ate Kei! Woooot! Hi ate key! :3 And then we say kuya Benjo. Kuya benjo went we called out loud looked like he was so embarrassed. His face was scrunged up and he waved such a little wave. It was so funny too. XDDDDD Embarrasing people. Hahay. And then we went to the effing square. And we ate sisig. And we talked about the Boracay thing. And then it happened. FUCKING ELBI SQUARE KIDS. FUCK THEM. FUCK THE ESTABLISHMENTS FOR NOT MAKING ANY MOVE AT ALL TO PUT THE FUCKING KIDS TO THEIR DEMISE. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. ehem. Sorry about that. But what they did was unforgivable. Fuck them. We were just fucking enjoying our fucking dinner. And then Allison told me not to look. So I did not. Turned out, the kid was pissing in front of our table. Fuck. That, thankfully, I didn't see. And then it effing happenned. It was there. It was horrendous. It was so ugly. I feel so violated. He stood infront of us, and laid his penis on the table. On the table we were eating on. Fuck. I almost stood up and grabbed the effing kid and beat the living daylights off of him. But in my better judgement, I did not. Kuku swatted away the little kid, and we were all swearing and stuff. Haydelle told me the first thing she saw was a fork. But also in her logical thinking, did not get hold of it for blood shoul've been shed. We got up, and Kuku said things to the kids. And the kid. That effing kid who put his thing on the table. That same kid. That kid's shirt had a hole in it. A hole right smack in the middle of his shorts. It was built in so he could maybe grab his thing and wave it out in the publik. Godemet. Was I fucking mad. Damn. That was so not fucking proper. It was so not. I mean, first of all . Those kids shouldn't be there at all. That place was made for eating. Where people could relax. Where people could eat and talk in peace. That place we occupied, we paid for. In assurance of quality time. That place, we paid for to eat. That place, that fucking place should've had long ago taken those kids away. DSWD for christ's sake! The least they could do is hire a fudging guard to kick their little asses if they ever come near the customers. Demes those kids. I would never ever ever ever ever eat at eLBi square again. Sinusumpa ko. I am a woman and I deserve to be respected. Srsly. I feel so mad. Nababadtrip ako. It is so not fucking okay. God. I still am mad. T_________________T; Poka cried. It should've been special. It should've been special. D: So yeah. After that, we vowed never to eat at eLBi square again. Boycott the effing place. So we went to Vega after that. We sat in the stairs. Talking about life and all. And how things were going for each and every one of us. We had lots to catch up. Good thing we decided not to play DOTA. XD Oh I missed it. I missed just sitting and talking about our lives. How happy we are. The heartaches we were feeling. The evens that transpired the week before. The future plans. It was like last week when we were at L' Brew. Only better. So there we were. In the stairs of Vega. These moments. Sometimes I think... How I wish I'd never forget. The worst thing anything anyone could do to a memory is not change it, not alter it for your own purpose. But forget. I don't ever want to forget days like those. And yet, though I hold it so dear to me now, i know there will come a time when I'm too preoccupied with work and stuff, that I'd forget it. I'd forget the real happy days. And God I wish if we had a special harddrive in our brain that could replay all those memories. How I wish I won't ever forget. So we were talking, and Haydelle and Joice were making fun of Skarlet. Hmpf. And then we talked about prom. And then we all stood up, and learned the L.A. walk. I know how to dance the L.A. Walk! Woooo! So there we were. 8 people dancing to an unheard musik. Musik that only existed where we were. Musik that only existed for us. And we danced. And we sang. And we enjoyed the night. And that was it. And I cried on the jeep heading home. I love them. How many times do I have to tell myself that? And I'd never get tired. That's for sure. Were going to be like Carrie and the girls when we grow up. ^____^

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Manny pacquiao can't shush me. [Tuesday, January 2008//11:20PM] [ music | GymClassHeroes:OMyGod! ] Sinusulat ko to ngayon sa kwarto ko. Walang internet. Wala lang. gusto ko lang magsulat bigla. Haha. Mejo natatakot nga ako eh. Baka kasi mabaog ako. I mean, alam ko dati nabaog na ako gawa nung chem.Tas dinugo pa ako gawa nung mga indio jan sa tabi tabi. Pero, baka mabaog na naman ako. O_o kung pwedeng mabaog ng dalawang beses, sigurado mababaog muli ako. Sapagkat si Brick ay nakapatong ngayon sa aking mga hita. Naka indian sit ako, at naka lean sa pader. Nasa harap ko ang elektrik fan, hindi siya bukas kasi nababadtrip ako kapag tinatamaan ung muka ko nung buhok ko. Parang nang-aasar kasi ung buhok. Alam mo yun? Parang constantly ginagago ka ng buhok mo kapag hindi tama ung pagkakaposisyon mo dun sa elektrik fan. Kasi tinatamaan ka ng sarili mong buhok. Tas kapag aayusin mo naman, hindi maayos. Kasi yun nga. Mali pwesto mo sa elektrik fan. At dahil nga nasa harap ko ung fan, at masyado siyang matangkad para maabot ako, hindi ito nakabukas. Naka saksak si Brick sa study table ko. Na nasa harap ko rin. Hindi ako dun nagawa [even though kapag dun ako gumawa hindi ako mababaog] dahil napakaraming gamit duon. At mamaya ko na ie-explain kung bakit. Demes. Ang init. Okai. Punta ulit tayo dun sa dahilan ng pagkabaog ko. Edi nakapatong siya sa hita ko, tas naka indian sit ako, edi mejo nakapatong rin siya sa ovaries ko. Ho megas. Tas kapag naiinitan daw yon namamatay. As in nags-shrivel up. Katulad nung mga matatanda. Ayown. Aray. Poor ovaries. Pero ewan. Myth daw yun? Pero sabi nung iba eh. Hindi ako makapag-research dahil nga walang internet ditto. Mmmmmmmm. Sana hindi ako mabaog. Gusto ko magka-anak. Gusto ko lalake. Pero sige. Next time na ulit yang topik na yan. Bakit maraming gamit? Mmmmmmmmmmm. Andun ung deodorant ko, andun ung baso ng kape/swissmiss, andun libro ko sa chem. Sa soc stud sa geom. Andun binder ko, andun intermeddiate pad ko, andun din ung graphing paper ko. Andun din nga pala ung el fili at noli ko! Bwahahahha. Demes. Andami dami gagawin fufu. Nakakabadtrip ang mga requirements. Bat pa sila tinawag na requirements. If they were called something like, let’s say…volunteer work, it would be VERYYY different Ahahaha. Ang astig siguro sana nun. May incentive ka kapag gumawa ka ng homework. Hindi siya required. Eh HINDI EH. Bwahaha.Mangarap ka pa eka. Sige lang. Hahayyy. Andami ko nang puting buhok sabi ni Delle. Demes. Genetic and situational reasons. Genetic kasi kahit siaterin ata nung bata pa siya e marami nang puting buhok. Kahit ata sa loob ng ilong nun at sa kilikili me puti. Wahaha. Ho megas. Sorry terin. Ahmmm. Tas situational kasi fufu mostly siguro ahmmmmmmmmmmmmm lesseeeeeeeee 100% lang naman ng putting buhok ko gawa ng jco. FUFU. Prom. Demes. Invitation. Fufufufufufufufuf. Andami kong gusting duraan na tao ngayon. Bwahahha. Yesh i have turned into a llama. O_o I dunno. Nakakabadtrip kasi. Nakakaasar. Alam nio un? NAKAKABADTRIP. Uu. Tama. Ahahaha. Basta yun. Basta! Gustong gusto ko na mandura ng tao. Bwaahaha. Mandura ng tao, parang kapag dumura ka lalabas tao. XD Astig no? Amazing what the arrangement of words can do. La la la la. Ang weirdo. Wala pang enter o kung ano man itong entry na to. And as usual, napaka random nia. Mmmm. La la la la la. Putting buhok. It saddens me. It’s one of time’s ways to make you heed his warnings that youre GOING TO DIE. Bwahahaha. Demes. Oh the bluntness of it all. Sabagay. We all shall die. One way or another. One time or whenever. Ika nga ni delle. Kung oras mo na, oras mo na! Pero fufu. I dun want to die. I dun want these white hairs at all. It makes me feel so vulnerable to the sands of time. Natatabunan. I know it’s not because of age…Oo fufu ka alam ko bata pa ako para isipin ang kaputian ng buhok ko. Pero… What if it’s a foreshadowing? If you get white hairs early, that means they’d take you away early too. Para bang… Nag advance ka, nag jump ka. Parang kapag sa school. Ahaha. You skipped the good parts. Demes. Sige. Ayoko na pag-usapan. Basta. May dalawa akong alam. Ayoko mabaog gawa nitong post na to, at ayokong [or rather, ayoko pang] mamuti ang buhok ko sa tenga gawa ng trabaho. Hahay. Ay natutuwa ako ng todo dun sa despair of judas. Weeee. Fufu. Ang random talaga. Nakaliligaya. Weeeeeeee. Chewing gum! Weeeeeeeeee. Abalone! Weeeee. Towel. Weeeeeeeeeeee. Betamax! Fufu. This only mirrors the fragmentation of my thoughts in my brain. I want to defragment, demes. I want to defragment. Kung pwede lang itapon lahat ng contents ng brain mo, at i-arrange mo physically e no? Waw. Anligaya ng buhay nun. Wala siguro masisiraan ng ulo. Unless kapag sinira mo talaga ung folders or kung ano man. Haha. Bibili ako organizer ng utak ko. As in parang expandable envelope. Unlike MY expandable envelope though. My expandable envelope is already vomiting out things I put in it since it’s filled beyond its capacity. I don’t ever want my organizer to get full. I just want to eat up all the facts that I can. La la la la. Nag-guilty ako. Alam na siguro nina RusseL kung bakit. Pero sige. Ahaahah. Ekzdi. Mmm. Haym berry much liking lastfm. Wish ko lang merong scrobbler sa player ko. Hahay. Gusto ko na mag-Friday. Para makapag despair of judas na ako. Sobrang ganda talaga. Shiyettt. Judas must have had it pretty effing hard. You in the divine plan to stir everything up. You to do justice to the conflict that shall take place. You appointed by the great divinity to kill and betray his son. You who must be in heaven right now. Fufu ang init na. Sige. Ayoko na muna. Sabagay, walang kwenta rin naman tong post na to. OKaiiiii. Palalam. Hanggang sa muli. Palalam! Ay teka. Wala ako balak matulog ngayong gabi. Baka kaya hyper ako nagyon. Sapagkat wala pa ako nasisimulan dun sa prokej sa eng. Wahoooo. Procrastination to the max~! Anligaya magcram. I duno why. But sometimes I deliberately do it. BWAHAHAH. It’s like, a big slap in the face for all the proffessors out there. XD We cram, and yet we pass yer examsssssssssss, foo! And thankfully, my cramming sessions always work out well. Though I know they would never always turn out like that, it still gives me joy. Hahaha. Oh pride. How you kill people. Wait until vanity comes. Then you’d be partying so much with the devils in the state of worthlessness which I call hell.  Okai. Palalam na talaga. La la la. Fufu mahal ko Valencia. Woooooooooo. First enter evarrr. XD La la la. I'm as random as yer pack of skittles. Amazing. You got to the end of that post? Here. Lemme give you a cookie. :3 Was the headache worth it? No. Because everything we do is not worth the effort we put into it. People never get satisfied where they are standing right now. Tsk. Sad. La la la. They were here first. Oily marks appear on walls. -imogen heap-

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Journey's new vocalist is a filipino. [Sunday, January 2008//09:35PM] [ music | Goodman,Miller...etcBigBandSounds:StringofPearls ] demes! chem imfa = torture "itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini." - poka singing

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // This is why i'm hot! [Saturday, January 2008//07:00PM] [ music | MilesDavis:TuxedoJunction ] Erika = Hitler on Acid [photo above credit: ze lucid dream ft. sayote. XDDD] La la la la~. Last week was the first time I slept in class. As in class class as in the teacher's still lecturing. During Chem. Sir Abel was teaching. And that night, I slept at about... 1? I remember drinking coffee that night... Anyhoo. Waw. I feel real guilty. And I feel stupid. And irresponsible. And I feel... Wahahaha. As in wahahaha mood. XD And my forehead was red the whole 30 minutes after. Good thing I did'nt drool. Bad thing is I didn't get the whole lesson. o__o'' La la la. The above title has no connection whatsoever to whatever I'm going to write here. Bwahaha. This is why I'm hooooot. This is why this is why this is why I'm hooot. I'm hot cause I'm flyyyy. You ain't cause you nooooot. This is why this is why this is why I'm hooooooot. Oh wait. Maybe it HAS a connection with whatever I'm going to write. Anyhoo. Prom is on Feb. 2. I still has no gown, but the design's ready. I think it's real cute. I mean, it's something that I could actually wear and not be laughed at. It suits me. XDDD Even though I think when I'd be wearing a gown, It'd look like you put a table cloth on a cow. Yay. I shall be a cow on prom night. XD Okai. So, I lead a committee, that is: The Invitation committee. Woooooot! It's going to be the first thing anybody would see. It's like the teaser trailer or something. So I has to make it look reaaaaal good. It's done. And, I'm feeling happy with the results. I won't show it here however. Since that would ruin the whole surprise-teaser-trailer thing. Mmmm. Gloomy Saturday. It's been raining ALL day. I woke up at about 7, then stared at the ceiling up until 8, then switched the TV on. I watched Gladiator. Wooo. Maximus! The last time I saw it was eons ago. And the only scenes I remember are the ones with the fields and all. And the movie actually made me laugh. There was this line like: "Wtf. You smell like a shit hole." Bwahahahaha! It's like, they're in Rome. And yet, they speak like that. Another line that made me holler was: "You're wife screamed like a whore." Bwahahahahahaha! The only thing missing was the ", bitch!" thing. Mmmm. I wonder how they swore then. Like, Great Zeus' Beard! or something like Bleeding laurel wreath! or when adresed to someone you really dislike, maybe something in the line of: You, my lady, smell like a spartan's armpit. Bwahhahaha. Berry creatib. So yeah. Gladiator. Fun fun. Mmmm. Math. Math makes me bleed. Dinudugo ako ng math. Fufu. Matrices. Good thing that's over with. You see, oh waiiiit the titleee doooooes come inn this here postttt XDDD, so you see, math is like mim's This is Why I'm hot. It's worse than circular reasoning. You never get to see WHY he's hot. In math, you never get to see WHY it's needed. Bwahahhaa! Yay! Math is like, my bane. I don't get why it has to be compulsory. This side of the house believes that higher courses  of Arithmetic should be removed from the high school curriculum. XDDDD Srsly. I mean, WHAT WOULD EFFING HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU GET TEH FREAKING VALUE OF THAT GADEMN ELUSIVE X?! Sige nga! Bwahahaha. Ayos sana kung mananalo ka sa lotto o kung ano man eh. O kaya yayaman ka. O kaya puputi kilikili mo! But noooooooooo, you just have this number that goes after the equal sign after the freaking letter x. Algebra. What would you use it for?! Trigonometryyyy?! What foooooooooooor?!?! Enlighten me please. So as I would be further motivated to study the forsaken subject. So yes. I therefore still strongly believe, that math, like mims, is stupid. Or maybe I'm just bitter because I'm not good at it? Tsk. Howell. If that's the case... Then... *LAS LAS LAS LAS!!* Okay. Another random post. At leastttt not a rant one, eh? :P Poka's going to Japan. Pinatikim lang kami ni Poka! Hmpppf. Paasa siya. XDDD Akala ko besprensss poreberrrr~. Pero hmpf. Sige. They're once again once more taking away one of my sources of happyness. D: Buut, Poka, I tell you this: Poka. I labshuu. And I shall mishu soooo much. And a part of me wants you to be happy and go to the land of cosplay and Miguel-esque people. But, there's this big chunk of me that wants you and your corny jokes and your poka vibes and your hill-side-girl-ness and your weird gait and your happy laugh and your square jaw and your drips on your uniforms and your "thank you, papa" and your printer [XD] and your happy balibal stance and your citizen-ness and your plain happy happy disposition to stay. But, as you've requested. And I shall promise you on my own grave, that, when you do come home, we'd all still be together. ^__^ Batchopayb parin, okai? *le sigh* *wipes tear dramatically* Okai. Back to the happy stuff. Yesterday was the social graces seminar. I'd say, COOL shit. XD I know how to tie a full windsor, a half windsor, and a foreign hand nooooow. Tying ties is pretty fun. :D Oh, and boys are the weaker sex. Bwahahaha. They were all struggling just to get the foreign hand thing, when all the girls were standing up just to elp them. So berry weak. >D So yeah. Sorry. Another random post. I bid thee goodbye. Palalam! [puts thumb down. wala nang signal. XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD] Oh. And I have fallen into a complete state of : kadukhaan. Last week, my rubber shoes' sole went off. I mean, If I stepped on a little puddle, my socks would get wet. And, I have no rubber shoes left. I have no decent shoes left at all. Also, last week, my palda almost fell down to the ground. It's snaps' stitches were ruined. Bwahaha. Last week, my expandandable envelope almost gave out. Last week, my phone's keypad wasn't working. Last week, I tripped. Wahaha. Bad luck week last week was. And I wantz to new shoes. D: Oh... p.p.s: Juniors! WE MADE A FREAKING SITE CRASH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Lumampas siguro ung bandwidth usage nung Greece/Rome site na ginamit sa soc stud. Bwahahaha. homegas. It's so funny. We made a site crash. XDDDDDDDD

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Fresh start [Saturday, January 2008//08:40PM] [ music | AndyMckee:IntoTheOcean ] I noticed: I started the year with a rant post. Nifty. Demet. I'm going nowhere.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // Roleplay [Saturday, January 2008//07:00PM] [ music | MaydayParade:WhenIGetHomeYoureSoDead ] Haylayk to pretend. Pretend that I'm stoked. Pretend that I'm drunk. Pretend that I'm high. Pretend that I'm smart. Pretend that I'm Japanese. Pretend that I'm impaled. Pretend that I'm a citizen. Pretend that I'm pretty. Pretend that I'm good at computers. Pretend that I know you. But the roleplaying always stops. I wonder if someone pretends to be something else that they aren't... Will there come a time when you don't know what the real character youre playing? If that's how long you do it... Will it be possible you forget who you really are? Pretend. To pretend is good. It serves as an escape to the horrible mundanity of life. It can't be helped. You can pretend to be rich. You can pretend to be successful. It's pretty good. Especially for the Law of Attraction. I pretend a LOT. XD But. Fortunately, I remember who I am. I know who I am. I don't get caught up in the heat. XD I know. I am not delusional. And it's happy. [though now that I think about it, since I'm so sure that I'm not in a state of perpetual roleplay... Doesnt this make me seem that I'm pretending...? o_o Oh the paradox of life!] Now I pretend to be better. <rant post commence> I know someone who's pretending. I don't have to tell you who that person is. I shall keep it anonymous just for one thing. That is: pity. Hell yeah I pity him. Just imagine how conceited i am. XD I pity a person. Yeah. You can tell me to fudge off now. But hear this. I have reason to pity. To pity the fool. I wish that person'd stop. I just wish he/she/it will. I miss it. [let us refer to that person as it so that it's gender shall not be compromised.] <- about being a pretender. And by posting that bar, I myself am pretending to know more than it. And it is a sad thing that the saying: Takes one to know one hold true. But it's okay. But I still pity it. It was such a good person. [referring to that person as it sure is awkward. XD] And now my creative juices are wearing off. Because I hate my sister. No dont worry. It's not genuine authentic "hate" in the sense that I abhor her and want to kill her. It's ironic that they tell us we look so much alike, and yet, were of such different characters.  This surging hate for her now would pass. I'm sure of it. It's a love-hate relationship. And I hate her now. The hate switch is on. She pretends. She pretends she's better than me. She just wont shut the hell up. I hate her. I hate her guts. I hate her smelly feet. I hate her "bebuuuuuy, amishu so muchhhhh~" tone when she talks to her boyfriend. She pretends to be good. I wish her boyfriend good luck if they get married. THEN he'll see the real side of my sister. Okay now I'm badmouthing her. See I'm not taking anything back. Maybe I will after I stop hating her. But I'm still hating... Still hating... Still hating. So no. I'm not taking any back. :3 Okay. Back to it. XD I miss it.  I miss it so much I wish it knew. And yet, It's a coward. And it pretends. And I just wish it stopped. :< I want to tell it that it's throwing its life away. That I want it to take everything back from the closet of pretend. To strip down off all it's fake accessories, and just let the real world appreciate who it really is. You know. Just let it all hang. The problem is, it is trying to conform. It, you don't have to. People liked it before you pretended. It, people are noticing that you changed. It, i miss you. But, alas. I have done all that I can to tell hints to it. To somewhat clandestinely tell it that I know what it's doing. And I bet it doesnt know what IT is doing. I'm confused. It's not. You see, precisely what you don't know hurts you. And I'm out. Mainly because I'm bored. And I'm currently not enjoying writing. I'm currently not enjoying in any thing I engage in. I am so out of fuel. Make me burn. God, make me burn.

That's what she said. // Harsh the office mellow. //Redact it. // Night Swept. // 2007 [Saturday, December 2007//06:13PM] [ music | AcidEyeliner ] Two thousand seven. Two O O seven. Two double O 7. Twenty O Seven. 2007  2007 is a year I'd never ever forget. It was a year of change. Of course it was a year of change. I mean, there goes no moment without change. And I stare at this screen. Still white. And this irritating pointer that blinks. Mocking me with it's blinking. Rubbing it in that I dun know where to start. How to start to wrap up this year with this wrap up post. Maybe because... I don't want to end it yet?  Perhaps. But, as last year. I must. And yet again. I stop. Still staring. Still listening. Still thinking. While time passes. While every minute spent goes by that makes the explosion of the new year so much insufferably nearer.  Nearer Nearer Nearer. 2007.  So much hapenned. Demet. So much. And yes. I conclude, that I don't want it to end. It has brought me so much... So much adventure, so much emotion, so much lessons. It has brought me so much. Ah.  What will I be remembered for? 2007.

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